Punishment (prequel to "Almost worth it")

[gebieterin]

Punishment

He knows.
This was the only thought in Hiroto's mind when his lover opened the door to let him in. Dark eyes met his too searchingly, yet too knowingly, questioning and finding an answer that put ice in Aoi's gaze. Hiroto's tentative try for an embrace was avoided by a quick step to the side. This was when Hiroto wanted to try and start to explain, to apologize, but was cut short by a harsh gesture.
"Don't." So cold, yet so angry it made Hiroto shrink back a bit, baffled.
"But how..." Hiroto stopped short, realizing his error at once. It would not have needed the harsh slap delivered by his lover's hand. Yet it was not only the pain that made him feel the tears beginning to prick in his eyes.
"Do you really think that matters now? How I found out?"
Hiroto ducked his head from the cold voice and shook his head no, but Aoi had already turned and retreated back into his appartment, seeming not to care whether Hiroto followed him or not.
Hiroto nearly fell over his own feet in his hurry to get rid of his shoes and jacket to follow his lover. He rubbed his cheek absently, unsure of what to expect. Never before had Aoi hit him in the face. Never before had he been hit without any warning. Taking this as a cue on how angry his lover was, Hiroto felt nearly reluctant to follow him. Part of him just wanted to put on his shoes again and bolt. A greater part, however, wanted to hurry to his lover's side to apologize, taking whatever punishment it would need to make Aoi forgive him.
And yet another small part that he was trying to ignore very hard at the moment happily anticipated to be punished.

It was no surprise for Hiroto that the older guitarist did not wait for him in the hall, nor in the lounge, which he passed on his way towards the bedroom.
Hiroto approached silently enough to catch a brief glimpse of hurt in Aois feature before he became aware of Hiroto's presence and his whole demeanor changed to dismissive, if not even hostile rejection again quickly.

Whether it was for the hurt or the silent rejection in Aoi's features, Hiroto felt the first tears slide down his face. Yet he did not dare to reach out for his lover, the other's whole bearing making it very clear that such a move would not be appreciated now. And when Aoi turned his back to the door, and Hiroto in the process, not even looking at him, it hurt Hiroto even more. Why did Aoi let him enter the appartment, if he did not acknowledge his presence now? Aoi had a temper, this Hiroto knew. So why was he not yelling at Hiroto, or worse, trying to shake some sense back into his lover? Sense Hiroto had clearly omitted earlier this afternoon.

Not knowing what else to do, Hiroto stepped behind the black haired and tried to pull him into an embrace. No step out of his reach this time, but a violent movement, slapping his arms aside.
"I do not want you to touch me now", Aoi practically snarled.
Hiroto did his best not to shrink back this time, but to stay near the other, yet obediently keeping his arms at his side, head hung low, trying to ooze sumissiveness and regret as best as he could. He did not dare to drop to his knees, not wanting Aoi to think that he did regard the whole matter as play, which he did not. Hiroto knew that with his failure to keep away from Shou, he had a crossed a line that was much more severe than disobeying Aoi just for the fun of it.
This was unfamiliar territory, to both of them, and Hiroto had no possibility to assess how Aoi would react to the jealousy and disappointment Hiroto had inflicted on him. Not knowing at all what to expect, he could not prevent the shivering that ran down his spine when Aoi stepped closer to him, circling him with calm steps, but never reaching out to touch him, hit or otherwise. The feeling of apprehension, the expectation of what the other could do let Hiroto tense with every of Aoi's movements, releasing a breath he had not been aware of holding when the older man spoke to him again, sounding tired.
"Go get a shower. I cannot even talk to you when you still smell like him and sex."
Hiroto cringed, blushing. He had not thought that even such a brief interlude would leave olfactory evidence on him, but then again, Aoi had always had a keen nose.
Quickly he made a move to follow the order, but stopped short, not turning around, just asking:
"So there will be talking?" He hated the week and yet hopeful timbre of his own voice.
Hiroto flinched, not daring to turn, when he heard Aoi sit down on the bed and emit a very dark chuckle.
"Would you rather have me tie you down and show you exactly how displeased I am with you at the moment?"
The underlying threat in these softly spoken words made Hiroto tense even further, and he could all but feel dark eyes roaming his back.
He swallowed past the lump in his throat and weighed his next words very carefully.
"That depends. If then, as with other... missteps, this one, too, would be forgiven?"
Forgiven, not forgotten. And there had to be a reason Aoi had lured him to the bedroom. He could have yelled at him right at the door. Or in the hall, if he preferred the privacy of closed doors.
"Ah, but have these not been rather minor missteps, in comparism?"
Hiroto could hear the exaggerated pondering in the other's voice, and this was what made him turn eventually, eyeing Aoi cautiously.
The sudden change in Aoi's attitude made Hiroto suspicious. When had hurt and anger been slightly overshadowed with this unseelie half grin? Hiroto sensed a trap. Never had a lurking smile like this bode well for Hiroto. And never before had Aoi had a real reason to be angry at him.
Hiroto could not help but feel a little suspicious, and it must have shown on his face.
Which seemed to please Aoi. Immensely so.
His grin widened, and there was a dark glimmer in his eyes Hiroto knew all too well by now.
"Shower. Now."
Could an almost-purr sound sadistic? Suddenly Hiroto felt a bit reluctant to get clean so his lover would be able to stand the thought of touching him again.
"Shall I even bother to get dressed again?" he grumbled.
An impatient click of tongue and a flash of anger on Aois features made Hiroto hurry to the bathroom.

While shedding his clothes, Hiroto weighed his options. Taking only a quick shower would mean having to face his (angry) lover sooner. Taking his precious time and hoping that Aoi would calm down would most likely only infuriate the other even more. Sighing, Hiroto opted for being quick. And yet, it cost him quite an effort to open the door, towel slung around slim hips, eyes wide and just a little frightened, as the mirror had shown him. And it was not the only thing the mirror had shown him. He had a feeling that the little hickey just below his collarbone would cost him dearly. And some part of his mind could not get rid of the thought that Shou must have known this. And had marked him just out of spite. Nothing that could be changed now. Taking a deep breath, he stepped out of the bathroom and padded back over to the bedroom.

Aoi was sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at him sternly, and though Hiroto could still detect anger on the other man's feature, there was worry, too. Hiroto stopped a few steps away from him, nervously fidgeting under the other's gaze, eyes glued to the floor after a quick glance at the other, and the bed. If Aoi had already laid something out for him, he was effectively blocking it from Hiroto's view with his body.

"Aoi...?" Not 'Master', no -sama, not yet. He wanted to be sure to let his lover know that this what not play yet. "I am sorry."
The softly spoken words made the older guitarrist's gaze soften a little, and he didn't glare at Hiroto quite so angrily anymore, but still looked disappointed.

"Your face is as white as a sheet, your eyes look like a deer's caught in the headlights, and you are nearly trembling", Aoi camly noted. "When did I ever give you a reason to be really afraid of me?" His voice sounded slighty hurt.

Great, Hiroto, so even when you try to pacify your lover, you manage to make things worse. "Never so far", he tried to soothe the other's feelings. "And yet until now I have never cheated on you and then practically begged you to take your anger out on me in order to forgive." He tried to speak jokingly, but his voice betrayed his fears, growing thinner while he spoke.

Aoi just nodded thoughtfully. If Hiroto had needed any other affirmation that his lover was still very truly angry at him, he could draw it from the fact that the other made no move comfort him, to soothe his fear. This was as effective a beginning for a punishment as any, Hiroto thought.

And though Hiroto tensed when Aoi smoothly stood up and closed the small distance between them, he nearly cried in relief when the other's fingers gently combed through his still damp hair. From the beginning of their play, it had been Aoi's silent method to ensure Hiroto that he would look out for him, even if a scene demanded words to be rougher. And it calmed Hiroto, if only some, as then Aoi extended his hand to the bed in a gesture of mock-invitation. Hiroto stepped nearer an saw what the other had already laid out.

Three items, one of which Hiroto was familiar with, the soft black and many-tailed suede flogger.
One of which Hiroto was painfully not so familiar with, having asked Aoi to put it aside at the first try: a short leather riding crop.
And one of which Hiroto did not really feel any need to be introduced to and has been sure Aoi did not even possess: a slender wooden cane. Hiroto had read about canes, and did not like what he had read.

"Ten of each. And you will give count," Aoi's calm voice cut through Hiroto's thoughts, gaze challenging.

Now, that was just cruel. When forced to give count, Hiroto could not just let himself be carried away, immersed by what he felt, but had to stay rooted enough to concentrate on the count, as missing one would have consequences. With the flogger, it should not be a problem, and with enough concentration he could even make it through the crop.
As Aoi obviously expected a reaction, Hiroto dared to shake his head ever so slighty.

"I doubt that I can go through ten of this", he stated, indicating the cane.

"I cannot remember saying that these counts were up to negociation."
This was not the agreement Hiroto had hoped for, but not refusal either.

"I would not dare to ask you to decrease the general count. You can even add whatever you take off to the crop", he demured.

Aoi seemed to ponder that thought.
"Six of the cane. The other four will go two to each other instrument."

Bargaining like to traders might for a hide. His hide, to be exact. Yet, Hiroto felt relieved that his lover took his objection into consideration. Instead of increasing the stated number of strokes for talking back. So he nodded.

Aoi reflected the gesture. "Drop the towel and lay facedown on the bed."

This surprised Hiroto, as normally Aoi made him kneel for the flogger. However, he would not question any order that made him a bit more comfortable, so he did as he was told.

Though Aoi had acted very controlled since Hiroto had returned from the bathroom, he could tell by the way that Aoi brought the flogger down hard onto Hirotos back and ass that the other was still angry. Yet Hiroto managed not to break count, his counting only marred by slighty pained hissing sounds he quickly muffled against the bedsheets. By the gradual warming and the slowly increasing burning sensation on the areas the flogger hit him, he could tell that his skin must have taken an angry shade of red by now. And yet, the sensation was not entirely unpleasant, and though it did hurt, it was kind of satisfying to know that for once, Aoi did not hold back, did not go easy on him.
Which did, of course, not bode well for Hiroto as it came to the riding crop. Already by the third stroke, he could no longer really muffle his scream, the thought of the welts he would have to show nearly letting him miss count twice. The eighth stroke already had him panting, but no longer feeling even remotely aroused.
He was grateful that Aoi gave him a moment to rest after this. Without looking up, he grabbed for a pillow, something to hold onto. Aoi did not deny him this comfort, but made sure that Hiroto was a bit more comfortable and his breathing had calmed down before reaching for the cane.

The first stroke, Hiroto still did count out loud. The pain was not as bad as he had feared, a dull pain where the cane hit his ass, quite a contrast to the sharp bite of the crop. Or so he thought at first. He had the brief opportunity to wonder why Aoi did not place the second stroke immediately. However, after a few seconds, the pain became more acute, a burning that seemed to come from deep inside his skin, and had him giving a conflicted whimper. That was when Aoi hit again. With the pain from the first stroke still at its peak, this one tore a soft sob from Hiroto's throat and had him clawing at the cushion he clung to. Now he knew why Aoi had waited with the next stroke. And continued to do so with every next. After the third, Hiroto did no longer count. He did not really think about if it angered Aoi, he was too preoccupied with sobbing and screaming out in mangled words to care. The pain that spread all over his buttocks had turned to a burning so intense that he briefly pondered the idea if Aoi had hidden a heated metal rod somewhere using this instead.

It took him some moments to realize that the strokes had stopped, because the pain did not. Yet it slowly subsided to a bearable level (if even barely so) while sobs still wracked his body.
A tentative touch to his hair had him look up reflexively, only to find Aoi curled up beside him, stroking his head camingly until his sobbing subsided. Blinking trough his tears, it took him another moment to realize that his lover, too, was crying.

Added to the residual pain, at this sight Hiroto broke down completely, clinging to Aoi as if for dear life and sobbing, relieved this time, hiding his face on Aois chest when the other pulled him into a protective embrace.

It seemed to be what they noth needed, just lying together and crying, one loudly, the other softly. Eventually, Hiroto nearly fell asleep from exhaustion, but still clung to Aoi when the other made a move to leave the bed.
"Stay here, please."
Aoi smiled reassuringly, yet gently pried Hirotos fingers from his shirt.
"You are getting cold. Slip under the covers, I will get some ointment for your injuries. I will be back at once", he hushed Hiroto when he started to protest.
Still sniffing softly, Hiroto reluctantly scrambled under the covers, carefully staying on his stomach. Soon enough, he felt the covers being gently pulled away. He hissed when Aoi began to dab the sweat from his back and started to spread the cooling ointment over the forming welts on his back and his buttocks.
"Is it bad?" he asked softly. Aoi hummed affirmingly, but confirmed that no skin was broken.

"I am sorry." They both spoke simultaneously, but Hiroto was quicker to recover from the surprise.

"Don't be. I deserved it, after all."

Aoi smiled ruefully. "I was not sure if the cane would be too much."

Hiroto blushed. "It was... an experience. But none I wish to repeat" he added quickly, much to Aoi's amusement. Pouting, Hiroto turned on his side and reached for his lover to lay down beside him so he could snuggle up against him.

"I am sorry. I will not cheat on you again."

Aoi sighed.
"I think I have to forgive you now, don't I?" he teased. "Yet, I am a bit disappointed that you still don't understand. Why did you not just ask for permission?"

Hiroto stared at him, dumbfoundedly. With a smirk, Aoi gently stroked his face, making him shut his mouth.

"Given the... nature of our relationship, I cannot demand monogamy from you, not if I tend to get some amusement on the side. I do, however, demand that you get my permission first."

Hiroto still stared, but understanding began to dawn on his features.
"So, you officially allow me to take other lovers? If only I ask you on beforehand?"

Aois smile became a bit evil. "Of course, your requests are still subject to my approval. I can also forbid it."

Hiroto looked a bit confused, so Aoi explained furhter.
"If you ask me first, I can still be sure that you care about me more, can't you understand that? Even moreso if it is one of your bandmates. You spend so much time together, you know each other so well. Of course I am getting jealous when you start having sex with them. But when you ask me, I can at least pretend to still have some control over you, even then."

Hiroto gasped. Had Aoi just admitted on being insecure when it came to Hirotos relationship with his bandmates? Yet, he was able to relate to this feeling, because it had taken him some time to get over the fact that Aoi did not change his quite intimate friendship with at least one of his bandmates. He drew the other closer to plant a firm kiss on his lips.
"Don't worry. You are the only one I allow to top me."
"Awww... then we will never have a threesome? I will never have the joy to see you squirm under someone else?"
Hiroto blushed and cursed inwardly that Aoi always found a weak spot.
"Hm. If you allow it, it should be okay, I think." He managed to keep his face totally straight. Until he felt a lewd grin spread over his features.
"How about making me squirm a bit yourself?"
Aoi laughed incredulously.
"Hey, I am serious" Hiroto pouted. "What would making up be without make-up-sex? Though I am afraid that I will not be able to lie on my back right now."
Aoi grinned. "I can think of some alternatives."
Getting on his knees, Hiroto began to tug on Aoi's clothes.
"Hmpf. Just don't you dare to touch my ass."
Aoi burst out laughing. "That, my dear, might complicate the matter extremely."